I just came across this LJ group called "Unsent Letters". The basic story of this group is to write letters you would never send. This got me thinking about a letter, that I wrote and was debating whether or not it should remain unsent and I actually sent it. The letter was to my former best friend, and I sent it in Oct. 2006. The friend had ended our friendship in May 2003. Without getting into too many details she ended our friendship because she did not like the person I had become, she thought I had changed so much, because of my religion. I guess I thought at the time she had not changed enough and just wanted to be a negative person and not help herself to be happy in whatever way she could.
Anyway, I had always hoped that she would become my friend again. I guess I thought we would find our way back together. We had been friends for so very long, 12 years as a matter of fact, friends through childhood and young adulthood. It really, hurt the way she ended our friendship. She just wrote me a note ending our friendship and returned some books I had lent her. She did not even end our friendship to my face...she gave the books and note to my mom. It was so cowardly of her to do it this way, but to be fair I was cowardly in not opening up to her more about how my life was going then.
So time passed and I wanted so much to contact her, especially when she sent me an annoucement that her first novel had been published, but I did not know if I should respond. Did she send me the annoucement to rub her success in my face? Or did she send it, because she knew I would be proud of her. (I was.) I still have the announcement in my purse, because I could not bear to throw it away.
I really missed her and in 2006 I finally wrote her an email telling her I missed her and how I had thought of her as family and was hoping we could be friends again, and I got the most cold response ever! It was kind of like a letter from an insurance company denying patient care, because it was not in their plan.
I am glad I wrote the letter though and sent it, at least I got to have answered the "what if" question. Which is, "What if I had reached out to this person?" would things have been different?
So I guess there are some letters that should not be sent, but I think most should be sent. You never know how someone will respond to you unless you tell them.
- Current Mood: thoughtful